I went on vacation.
Did you miss me?
Did you think I blew myself up?
Did you think I finally fell down and couldn’t get up?
Really, when I think about it, the reasons I might go missing are endless… anything from getting lost in a mall to falling down and getting wedged somewhere. (AND, for the record, my Spouse watches A LOT of shows where they solve murders with forensic science. Not the scripted kind, but the ones that are about real murders. He says he just enjoys them, but I think he’s taking notes, so, you know, IF I go missing for ✨too long✨call the authorities. Should I be scared?)
We spent a week over in Cape Cod!
We went to Provincetown Massachusetts which is at the very end of the peninsula, and if you’ve never been… well… it’s all that plus a bucket of Salt Water Taffy, which they make right there in front of you.
Here was my expectation…
Day 1: Beach, shopping, dinner.
Day 2: Beach, shopping, dinner.
Day 3: Beach, shopping, dinner.
Day 4: Shopping, beach, dinner. ( …because it’s always good to have variety. You know, mix things up.)
Day 5: Beach, shopping, dinner.
Here was my reality…
Day 1: Beach, shopping,
💥bump into acquaintances/friends/frenemies…💥
Husband starts conversation. 🙄
:::Insert obligatory greetings, banter about health, dogs, weather:::
“Well, it’s been great seeing you! Have a great day!”
Meaningful interaction with someone! Check THAT off my weekly to-do list!
(Every Introvert reading this understands the sense of accomplishment I feel when I have a conversation with someone not in my close circle. You know, like a real face-to-face conversation… and I didn’t say anything too embarrassing, and the world didn’t slide into chaos!)
Now, let’s get this vacation BACK ON TRACK!
Then it happens…
Like fingernails on a chalk board, or sand in your swim trunks…
“oh, hey… we are having some friends over tomorrow night and we are cooking dinner. Can you come?”
My husband the socialite: “Sure. What can we bring?”
duh… cake. Of course, they will want me to bring cake. What kind of cake should I… oh a lobster shaped cake… but can I even find fondant… guess I can make some candy clay…
I have a BLOG!
ABOUT CAKE! …and other things, but mostly ABOUT CAKE!
Friend says casually: “oh, bring anything. Salad? That’s easy enough.”
“Or dessert?” I say with a smile.
“OoOoh that’s right. You make little cakes don’t you? Perfect!”
“Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Yes I do.”
We’ve all got that one friend/acquaintance who you are really never sure if they support you or if they are just full of themselves… and by “full of themselves” I mean full of shiitake mushrooms, of course. Everything is a competition. Of course they 💥know💥 I make cakes.
Frenemies. These are the people who are friends and enemies. In the game of one-upmanship… I usually let them win because, well, it’s just not worth it. Usually…
(btw, if you suspect you 💥might💥 be this acquaintance… love you mean it. 😐 Totes.)
I rushed back to the rental condo to assess the equipment, because the gauntlet had been tossed down.
I needed a cake.
I needed a Cake.
Capital “C” Cake.
I needed the shiny delicious Rainbow Unicorn Farting Glitter of Cakes.
I turned to Kara’s Couture Cakes… and she didn’t let me down. She’s got the Shiny Unicorn Cake of all cakes there… no, really. It’s a Unicorn Entremet Cake with a Mirror Glaze!
Silicone Ring Mold? NOPE
Instant Read Thermometer? NOPE
Cake Pan? NOPE
Vacation rental condo kitchens tend to be a conglomeration of things used once and left behind.
I especially liked the half melted colander.
I bet I could name this something French and sell it at Sur La Table for $400.
I did find a large bowl and a whisk…
and, whatever this thing is…
Seriously… If you know what this is can you let me know? Tiny cookies? Diet pizza?
Maybe it’s a back scratcher?
I decided to forfeit a beach day to trudge the mile to the grocery store. Guys! It was sand the entire way! And there were HILLS! …and somehow it was uphill, BOTH WAYS! (…actually it was quite pleasant of a walk but don’t tell anyone.)
I had a general idea of what I was making, and I thought I would play around with what the insides would be. Since I had no cooking pans to bake a cake layer I got ready baked things to put into the middle, to be surrounded by Diplomat Cream, which is a stabilized mouse. So, stabilized mouse in… something… surrounding… something… with a shiny mirror glaze on top.
Full disclosure: The Crunch n Munch was never part of the cake plan. It was for lunch.
I considered using the Brownie Bites as the cake center. Chocolate is always a sure crowd pleaser… but when I tasted the Otis Spunkmeyer Lemon Mini Loaf Cakes with the Beach Plum Jelly I knew I had a nice filling.
Now, I know what you are thinking…
You are thinking that Scott went all Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee…
well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
I sliced the mini loaves in half and then in half again, and filled them with the Beach Plum Jelly. Here they are in the freezer just chilling with the freezer burned Bagels and the mystery bowl of ice.
As I started the Diplomat Cream I still wasn’t sure what I was going to use to mold the cake…as I nibbled on a brownie bite it occurred to me…
Just look at that beautiful shape! …and what a shame I had to eat all the brownies to use it. (Ok, I dumped them into a bowl.)
I mixed up the Diplomat Cream and filled the mold all the way to the top, leaving the middle open for the Lemon loaves which I packed in tightly. I used leftover vanilla pudding to fill in any gaps around the loaves.
Go watch Kara make it, just keep in mind you can put anything in the center and this cake will still be stunning as long as there is a smooth creamy layer on the outside…
The mold went into the freezer overnight.
The next day I peeled the mold off and voila!
Ya got ya cake ready for mirror glazing.
Follow the instructions on how to make the Mirror Glaze and you are ready to go.
It’s hypnotic watching the glaze slide down and drip off the frozen cake.
I sprinkled on some colored sugar from the grocery store cake section and made a few roses from marzipan.
One amazing cake from a hopelessly under-stocked kitchen.
…and yes. I won the cake war. Till next time dear frenemies…